Last Update: 1/03/2017

I Caught the Car, Now What!?

A dog is biting the wheel well of a red car he "caught."
Vanholio's the dog that caught the car. He's got his freedom. But what the hell does he do with it? All those empty van life hours loom ahead in 2017 ...

As it happens, I just about got the money thing licked – no debt, a bit a savings, and van life expenses down to about $500 base per month. Living in a van down by the river, I can damn near get by selling plasma and doing online surveys.

Ain't that just peachy? Ain't you jealous? Well, every silver lining has a touch of gray.

My Van Life Journey Till Now

I been doing full-time van life for about a year and a half now. Most of that were markin' people and places off my bucket list. Did a shitload of driving in 2016 and part of 2015. That's all done.

This year I'll be hanging around New Mexico area mostly, with little hops over its borders. Tired of drivin', I'll be goin' less far, more slowly.

But that light plan leaves a shit-ton of time on my hands. Again Vanholio yells, What now!? What do I do!? A man can only jack off so many times a day before it hurts.

I finished that bucket list in October, BTW. Guess what I did next. I worked my ass off building me some moneymaker blogs – potential moneymakers, that is. Was puttin' in full-time work hours and more. For reals.

Came to My Senses When I Realized 2 Things

  1. My heart weren't in them blogs. In fact, doin' 'em sucked.
  2. I didn't get into van life to chain myself to a fuckin' monitor.

Shit, I was whip-drivin' my own self 'cause I don't know no better. And because the busyness business kept away the boredom.

Vanholio's Full of Shit!

Vanholio's been trained up a wage slave like the rest of ya'll. Seems that whatever philosophical bullshit he babbles, deep down, Vanholio don't feel like much of a man unless he's workin' hard, bringin' the Benjamins, and gettin' approvin' nods.

But ain't that what Vanholio's taking a stand against!?

I got into van life, supposedly, because I value time over money, reject the consumerist Rat Race, and choose to walk more softly on this here earth. That's what I told everyone, includin' my own self.

Well, fuck me. I ain't so fuckin' enlightened after all. But at least I quit them stupid moneymaker blogs.

2017 Van Life Resolutionary

Maybe someday ...
For 2017, I resolve to live quietly and sip the moments of my life. Slow livin' is what Vanholio'll be all about. It's a new journey.

But then, I got no fuckin' idea how to do not much. It keeps me awake nights. Where to start this journey, that's the question.

As per usual, every solution's got its own fuckin' problems built right in. Even living in a van down by the river.

Happy New Year's!

Oh, and if you got advice, by golly, speak up! I'm all ears.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

Save the World by Doing Less, or Nothing
Tiny Wisdom: The Things We Don’t Want to Do (Tiny Buddha)
10 Ways to Enjoy Doing Nothing (Real Simple)
Work Stress Is the Saddest American Status Symbol (Salon)


  1. I had fallen deeply out of love with "workin' hard, bringin' the Benjamins, and gettin' approving nods." I was SO ready to throw in that towel and hit the road to perfect uselessness. Since then I've done some useful stuff, but it wasn't about money or approval. It was for the joy of fiddling with things. And because, like you said, one can masturbate only so much.

    1. "And because, like you said, one can masturbate only so much." Literally, the Law of Diminishing Returns.

  2. Let me see if I got this right. You wanna go on a new journey with the goals of some slow, quiet livin, where you're just sippin and savorin da moment. But ya got all dis damn energy you're using in crazy ass ways! (workin, fuck dat...jackin, well all good things in moderation.😋). Shit man, wut you need is a mountain bike! The bike satisfies the human need for movement without drivin all over da country. Get your ass on wunna them for 2-3 hrs. a day like I do. Not only will ya get in better physical shape, when you're burnin those calorie, it definitely helps the mind space too.(maybe ya are in great shape now, I don't know.) And while I luv to shred and rip on 'singletrack', I equally luv goin slow, steady, and quiet. That's where you can experience and connect with nature. Hell, just today I found myself starin into the eyes of a mama black bear from ten fuckin feet! The bike is a good tool for gettin out and doin it in some awesome places. Then when ya get back,(assumin ya didn't get your ass ate), you're all ready to kick back, 'n sip 'n was another sweet day in a fine ass 'Dream Life'! ( Oh, and for me, it feels pretty nice to be recognized for creating that and get the approvin nods from my friends, some of whom are 20-30 years my junior.)

    1. (y)(y)(y) Good idea! May not do the bike. May commit to long hikes, more my speed. But it's the same underlyin' idea. Good, good, good!

  3. Izzy5.1.17

    Great blog, this aspiring van dweller is a big fan.

    Haven't done it since I was a kid a couple of decades ago, and even then not all that much of it, but I'm thinking fishing is one of the pass-times best suited to the slow living van dweller.

    1. I agree on both points! Gotta add fishing to my repertoire, it's a twofer, relaxing, and if you're lucky and good, dinner!

    2. I've been thinkin' on fishing, too. Haven't done it since I was a kid, either, and I didn't really learn well then. But hell, that's what the internets are for!

      Plus I found out that as a New Mexico resident, I can hunt all the rabbit and prairie dog I want without a license.

  4. gold panning vanholio. or metal detecting or something. IDK Im in the same boat.

    1. I'm volunteering now in a national forest. Keeps me from idleness. Not sure it's the long term answer or not.

  5. I'm right there with you. Have the money, have my freedom, now how the fuck do I enjoy it?! The drive to be doing something "useful," getting approval, and basically justifying my existence on this earth is embedded deeply in me.

    1. I've been working as a US Forest Service volunteer park host for the last two months, and plan to continue. It's been keeping me busy ... but not too busy.