Last Update: 1/07/2017

10 Reasons I Love Walmart

Purple van decorated with hundreds of toy dinosaurs in front of a Walmart, from

Vanholio used be a Walmart-hating Liberal. But now that he’s living in a van down by the river, he’s come to LOVE Walmart. Van life can change your perspective.

Top 10 Reasons Walmart Is a Van Life Mecca

  1. All Over – Vanholio goes all over the fucking country. Everywhere I go, Walmart is there. I know what they got and what to expect. It’s useful and comforting.

  2. Free Camping – You know all about this, right!? You can stay a night or two in the parking lots of most Walmarts. Vanholio prefers the forests and mountains, but a Walmart parking lot is a perfect overnight on long drives.

  3. Free WiFi – Sometimes I just park my van right outside a Walmart for a few hours and use the free WiFi. That kicks ass for big uploads/downloads and areas where my cellular internet sucks.

  4. Green Leadership – Even if you don’t buy into Global Warming, you’ll agree that shitting your pollution everywhere makes you an asshole. Plus we all want to rely less on oil so the Arabs can go fuck themselves. Walmart is pushing hard to cut their pollution and move toward renewable energy – American, job-creating renewable energy.

  5. Great Selection – Truth is, they got most of what I need. The few times I need something more rare, it’s time for or a specialty company.

  6. Low Everyday Prices – Vanholio lives on a tight budget. I can’t pay more for sentimental reasons. I don’t want to neither. Walmart’s got me covered.

  7. Day-Old Deals – With my easy schedule, I often hit Walmart in late morning. Nothing I love more than picking up day-old bread, pastries, and chicken cheap, cheap, cheap!

  8. Bakery and Deli – Even undiscounted, Walmart’s got pretty good prices on donuts, Mexican pastry (pan dulce), hot items, and deli subs. Not the best, but far from the worst.

  9. Online Shopping – Vanholio hates shopping. So I love ordering household and dry goods ahead of time online at and picking them up free at the store.

  10. Gift Cards – Lately, I’ve been making a little money doing online surveys and other tasks. My favorite sites pay in untaxed gift cards. Walmart is usually among them. Convenient.

Maybe you say, Yes but, and bring up all the ways Walmart Corp is a bunch of assholes. Maybe they are. But you can’t help love. Now give me some tongue!

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See …

How Much Does Living in a Van Cost?
RV Parking at Walmart (Walmart Locator)
10 Reasons Why Walmart Is the Worst Company in America (Daily Dot)
Why Walmart Is Doubling Down on Its Commitment to Climate Change (CNBC)


  1. Sometimes a fella just needs duct tape at 3am, just sayin'.