Last Update: 3/17/2017

Slow the Fuck Down to Reduce Roadkill

Roadkill fox on pavement, a van life feature
Goddamnit, I hate seein’ smashed animals on the road. Wanna hunt a critter? Fine. But cut them roadkill numbers down by not drivin’ your van like a fuckin’ maniac. Ain't van life all about takin' it easy, after all?

Critters Can’t Avoid High-Speed Vans

Got ta thinkin’ about this shit just before Christmastime when I were headed inta Texas. Along the Lone Star State's western highways, I was seein’ more roadkill than I’d seen in months. It was a fuckin’ massacre. Why? Seein' that kinda shit's one a the worst things about being a van life nomad.

I think it was how fast Texans drive out there. Ain’t no critter got a chance when a car’s zipping at 80 mph. How could they? Could you?

Keep It Below 55 MPH

Graph: Roadkill by posted speed limit in Yellowstone
Roadkill by posted speed limit in Yellowstone 
Yellowstone National Park looked at the problem and found that between 45 and 55 mph is when the roadkill numbers spiked (see graph).

That feels about right ta Vanholio. Where I’m at now, in high desert, there’s a shit-ton a rabbits and jackrabbits out at night, besides deer and free-range cattle. Ton a roadkill rabbits, too.

Noticed that when I keep my night speed around 40 mph, I don’t even come close ta hittin’ ‘em. Plus last night I had plenty a time ta stop for a calf in the road. But when I go the posted speed limit a 55 or 65 mph, seems like I’m always about ta crunch a bunnie.

What’s Your Need for Speed?

Why are Americans so greedy ta get where they’re goin’? Slowin’ down is good for your nerves. Plus it saves ya gas money. You’re less likely ta kill a critter by accident, too. An’ if the critter’s a deer or hog, you’ll save your van from expensive repairs, or worse.

Jesus Fuckin’ Christ, just relax an’ take your goddamn time already! Especially at night when the critters is out.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

Save Money, Gas, and Globe – Slow Down!
Eating Roadkill Rabbit Down by the River
Rise in Roadkill Requires New Solutions (Scientific American)
Wildlife-Vehicle Collision Reduction Study: Report To Congress (Federal Highway Administration)


  1. Just today I came around a bend on a mountain road and there was a turkey strolling across, giving my a look that said, "Fuck you." The road was narrow and twisty, so I was going less than 30. No problem to slow and let it pass.

    Last year in Colorado I came around a gradual curve and there was a bear standing in the road. Its look was more, "Huh? What? I just woke up and don't know wh... Huh?" I was probably doing about 50 but had plenty of distance to slow down to a crawl. It stayed there, looking confused. I was about 10 yards away, barely moving, when it finally waddled off.

    During my Texas jaunt there were dead skunks all over the place, like they had turned suicidal.

    1. Shoulda taken out your camera. That always makes the turkey disappear on my real fast.