Last Update: 2/03/2018

When Your Fuckin' Air Mattress Goes Flat!


Goddamit, Thursday night sucked. Just as I was about to go to sleep, my air mattress went flat. Ended up in a pricey  fuckin' motel room. I want my van back!

Wahhhhhhhhh, haaahh, awahhhh!!!

(In case ya missed the memo, my van's in the shop. And the fuckin' air mattress is part of temporary digs.)

Yeah, so, I got all settled down back in Cibola National Forest, up on a mesa between Gallup and Grants, NM. Was there for hours, no problem! Then about 10:30 pm, just I was settlin' in to sleep, the air mattress sprung a leak. Still don't know where.

A flat air mattress in that rental Dodge Grand Caravan meant almost no insulation on a 20° F (-7 C) night, a hard bed, and a good chance a tie rings diggin' inta my back! Fuck that shit!

So I loaded up and drove inta Grants. It were about 11:30 when I got in.

Now, a tougher (or broker) man woulda gotten a new air mattress at Walmart and slept in the lot. But Vanholio was a whiney wimp that night. He got hisself a Motel 6 room.

Not only did that shit cost me $45 with tax, it sucked. The room was blasted hot. The mattress was old. The room stank a sewer gas. And Ms. Barkley got stirred up by every sound of the neighbors. We didn't get no sleep till near 3 am!

Then I woke up at 8 am anyhow and was draggin' all day. Didn't get shit done.

Got myself a new air mattress. Hope it lasts til the van's done, Wednesday latest they say. ...

Goddammit, I'm tired of the fuckin' air mattress. I want MY van back NOW!  Waaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!

Cover of "All the Whores I Knowed Before" a book by Vanholio! For sale on Amazon.com. Click through.

Also See ...

2 comments:

  1. Would it be possible to transfer the mattress from your van to the Dodge?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's where I'm kickin' myself! I didn't do that before I left Albuquerque 'cause I was too embarrassed to ask and too lazy to drive an hour out of my way to do it. 😔 I'll get my van back in a couple days anyway. But next time ...

      Delete