Last Update: 1/04/2018

Goin'a Quartzsite? Oh Hell No!

It's that time a year again. Every RVer, rubber tramp, nomad, vandweller, and any other kinda vanlife scamp is showin' up at Quartzsite, AZ. But not Vanholio!

At my camp in New Mexico right now, I got four other rigs in view. That's four vanlife rigs too many! My prayer as I go to sleep is that they'll be gone in the mornin'. Either that, or I'll be dead. One's as good as the other.

Vanholio's a Loner ...

Like hell I wanna crowd up in some piece a shit bit a flat desert Arizona with four thousand or more! How's a man supposed to step outside and pee with all them folks around? Tell me that!

Vanholio didn't get inta this vanlife thing to mozy up with strangers – even strangers in vans. He's a hermit on wheels, yessir.

Goddammit, I never did go to Burning Man. And I never even went to Ft. Lauderdale or Padre as a youngun. I ain't fixin' to turn joiner now!

If I want to meet someone – anyone, even YOU – I'll do it one-on-one, where I can hear what the hell you're sayin' and look ya in the eye. And leave shortly if everythin' goes tits up.

'But I Wanna Go ..." You Say?

Mind you, I don't begrudge others their fun. If you're goin' to Quartzsite for the big RV show, Rubber Tramp Rendezvous, schoolie gathering, Escapees, or whatever, why, God bless ya. If it creams yer gravy, go for it. You can have my share.

OK, yes, Vanholio is an ornery ol' sorehead. Ain't I always told ya'll that? Ain't ya been listenin'? (Maybe not ...)

So to sum up what ain't worth botherin' over – I ain't showin' up in Quartzsite this month for no vanlife rendezvousness. Unless I change my mind.

Cover of "All the Whores I Knowed Before" a book by Vanholio! For sale on Click through.
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  1. I generally agree, but I figure seeing some people I haven't seen all year, along with shooting some interviews, is worth suffering a few days of crowd madness.

    1. Good luck! I hope they appreciate your sacrifice. Probably not. Most normies think a huge gathering is fun. :-/

  2. Love the honesty! I am the same way, avoiding crowds.

    1. I knew there were others like me, scattered about, mindin' our own business, hard to find and catch. :-)

  3. Completely agree Vanholio. Human beings en mass are overrated. I like individuals, not the damn planet gobbling species. Stick to myself most of the time. It’s just too freakin’ annoying watching crowds make asses of themselves.

    1. A buddy of mine said, "Every group of people, no matter who, no matter what they believe, eventually become Animal Farm."