Last Update: 11/03/2017

Vanholio FAILS Big Texan 72 oz Steak Challenge

Big Texan steak challenge t-shirt
Where's the beef? At the Big Texan in Amarillo, Texas. That 72 oz (2 kg) FREE steak challenge been callin' since I were a tot. Read on ta see how far I got ...

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How the Big Texan Steak Challenge Works

They been runnin' this thing since the 60s. If you eat the 72 oz steak in an hour – plus roll, salad, shrimp, and baked potato! – the meal is free. Fail, and you pay $72.

But they's more rules: You can't leave the table, can't stand up, can't puke, no one can help you cut your food, you gotta sit at the challenge table, and more. Plus, you gotta sign death and publicity release forms before ya begin. THIS SHIT AIN'T NO JOKE!

In 50 years, thousands has won – but many thousands more has failed …

Why the Fuck Do Somethin' This STUPID?

Big Texan 72 oz steak with sides on table
Before ...
YOLO, Dude. Heard about this challenge since I were a tiny Vanholio. Always thought it was dumb. But it always called me, too, like a Siren song.

Then this last summer, I made a decision to live as if I were dying on Jan. 1, 2018. Wrote a post about it. Added some things to the list there, most a them more reasonable. But the Big Texan steak challenge made the cut. Fuck it!!!

How Far Did Vanholio Get in the Big Texan Challenge?

Big Texan steak dinner ... what was left
After ...
Vanholio sat there at that table for near 40 minutes. The crowd was cheerin' and takin' photos. Folks offered their blessins. Vanholio chewed and chewed and chewed …

Did ya know that 72 oz is a lot a fuckin' steak!? Goddammit, it weren't fun chewin' all that. The taste went away. The joy went away. I were sweatin'. I were stressin'. In the end, I came close to chuckin' it all up right there …

In the end, Vanholio ate 54.5 oz (1.5 kg) a steak and ALL the sides. Leavin' 17.5 oz (0.5 kg) a steak on the plate. So close, so close … :-(

Loser Consolation Prizes Awarded

But hey, I tried. Plus got that T-shirt at top and that pink boot cup in the photos! ... PLUS I got to puke my guts out about an hour later, so that was nice … YOLO!!!

Also See ...


  1. I guess that took care of your carnivorous needs for a while.

    1. Yes. But the really sad thing is I ain't too fond of steak in the first goddamn place! Much rather have bbq pork ribs.

  2. My brother used to tell this joke.

    A man says, "I gotta boy 'at can eat an entire steer in one sittin'. I ain't jokin'. I'll take wagers on it."

    So he takes the bets and the rules are set. They figure in order to eat a whole steer it should all be made into hamburgers. They get all the meat ready and the boy starts to shovel down hamburgers. Hundreds of them. Finally there's just one burger left. The boy shoves it away.

    "Son! Eat that last burger!"


    "C'mon! It's just one more!"

    "Naw, I gotta save room. I'm s'posed ta eat a steer yet tonight."

    1. I'd been to the big Texan four times and not once had I seen someone win the challenge. Kudos to you for trying ��

    2. THanks. It was kinda fun in a weird way. LOL

  3. Evidently they broadcast it nightly live over the internet from an overhead camera. Great story and effort!

    1. Hence why I took certain "measures." ;-)