Last Update: 8/06/2016

Eating Fried Crow in South Texas Swelter

Vanholio’s post two weeks ago crowed on about how I acclimatize myself to all kinds a weather. Well, now that crow is gettin’ fried up crispy in South Texas.

I didn’t lie, mind you. Vanholio’s been wearing shorts and sandals in all kinds of weather, from sub-zero blizzards to Southwest desert’s triple digits. Been comfy in the van at night, too. But then he came home to the South Texas Gulf Coast in August – triple digits AND shower-room humidity. The daytime heat index is about 125 F, and 97 F at night.

South Texas Is Killing Me

What the fuck was I thinking? This place ain’t fit for human habitation this time a year! I knew that. … But no, I had “bidness” to attend to and people to see. Never gonna time it for summer again, though, I tell you what.

After sweating in the van a couple nights, I asked around if anyone could put me and the dogs up. Nope. So I’ve been paying too much fucking money to stay at a Motel 6.

Goddamn, I fucking hate being here, visitin’ with the peeps aside. It’s too dang hot. I’m trapped inside all day away from steamy heat and traffic. I want to be back in cool mountains! It’s depressing as shit.

Leaving next week and starting north, north, NORTH! Thank you, Jeezus!

Cool Vandwelling in Hot, Humid Weather?

Now, could I have made this work without a motel or a room somewhere? Probably.

If I were at a campsite, I could sleep outside in the hammock all day and night. I got a bug net. Probably need a portable fan, too.

Or I could install a portable A/C in the van, which’d only be worth it were I living here for months instead of weeks. But it’s doable.

Or maybe I coulda even took up that Wif Hof Method shit. But Vanholio’s frankly too fucking lazy. I’d much rather be someplace cooler. Altitude and latitude: That’s the ticket.

Fuck this shit! And fuck Texas! There, I said it.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

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  1. We know Texans lean heavily toward craziness. The question is if they're crazy because of the weather, or if they live in that weather because they're crazy.

    1. Not sure. What do the winters do to Minnesotans?