Last Update: 6/23/2017

Jesus on Black Widow Spider's Abdomen

vision of jesus in the abdomen of a black widow spider
I done seen Jesus in the belly of the spider! Hallelujah!

The vision come to me in a New Mexico closet, right atop a box.

He has built his house like the spider's web, Or as a hut which the watchman has made. – Job 27:18

Alas, this miracle Latrodectus has now been squashed ...

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

Hot Fried Quail ... Those Dirty Birds!
Shrine of the Miracle Tortilla (Closed) (Roadside America)
PHOTOS: Unusual Sightings of Holy Figures (ABC News)

"Jesus Spider Vision" first published at
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Last Update: 6/16/2017

Zero Cleanup Omelette? Boil in a Ziploc Bag

Omelettes cooked in Ziploc, one on a tortilla with Cholula hot sauce

The problem with cookin' scrambled eggs on the go is cleanup of your mixin' bowl and pan. The boil-in-bag method gets around that! Perfect for van life or trucking.

Vanholio's made hisself omelette's this way sittin' on the edge a his bed in the van – without no mess. Real convenient in tight spaces.

WARNING: Cooking in Ziplocs might not be safe.

How to Cook an Omelette in a Ziploc Bag

1. Gather your ingredients.

two eggs, cheese, seasoning salt, and bacon bits, unmixed, in a ziploc bag
Eggs, etc. added to Ziploc

In this case, I did 2 eggs per bag, a piece a cheddar, season salt, and bacon bits. The fake bacon bits suck up some egg juice and add a salty, umami flavor. I don't add no water nor milk.

2. Put eggs and extras into the bag, then zip shut.

With a bit a finesse, Vanholio can crack an egg, then pour it inta the bag without spillin'. Get everything in there. Then zip it shut without much air. That's important 'cause what air's in there'll expand during cooking. Don't wanna pop that bag!

eggs and other ingredients mixed up in a ziploc bag, ready to boil
Eggs, etc. mixed up in Ziploc
3. Gently mix up your eggs.

You don't wanna bust your Ziploc. So massage that huevo sack like you would your own (or someone's you love). Gentle, gentle, gentle, until they're all scrambled.

4. Put Ziploc in pot of water and boil.

Ziplocs of eggs ready to boil in
Max Burton Portable Stove to Go
Vanholio uses his Max Burton Portable Stove to Go. I put the bags in a pot a cold water, shut the stove up, and set it to 250° F (. 'Bout the time the water's boilin', the eggs're done. You could also get water boilin', then put in the bags a eggs.

5. Shake the eggs outta the Ziploc to serve.

The omelette don't stick none to the plastic. That makes it easy.

Is Cooking an Omelette in a Ziploc as Good as Pan Frying?

No, not quite. But it ain't half bad, neither. You miss some flavor and consistency from pan fryin', but there's no funky plastic taste. Better than most restaurant eggs, IMHO. It's a van life winner.

Is Boiling Eggs in a Ziploc Bag Safe?

That warnin' at top got ya worried? Well, you can always use them pricey oven bags or the new Ziploc Zip ‘N Steam Cooking Bags. Or else go back to usin' a pan. But Vanholio ain't personally worried none (which maybe ain't too smart, but there it is).

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

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Last Update: 6/09/2017

Human Beings Are Fuckin' Disgusting!

Campground among pine trees has been strewn with trash by trashy campers.

In general, I enjoy campground hostin’. But the dark side is dealin’ with the public. Lots of campers leave their shit lyin’ around – literally!

Here’s a list of body wastes I had to fuckin’ deal with just this week:

  • One fucker left a solid turd semi-smeared on vault toilet floor.
  • Few days later, another fucker smeared his shit on the wall of the toilet, right by the toilet paper.
  • Some perv shot fresh cum in the toilet corner. Still glistening when I saw it.
  • Lots of guys and gals just miss with their pee, diarrhea, and monthlies.
  • Used toilet paper gets left all over the floor.
  • Someone this week didn’t even bother with the toilet. He (or she) shat by the creek where kids and everyone walk.

More trash I had to fuck with this week:

  • Most can’t seem to camp without leaving trash behind, especially:
    • Bud Light cans
    • Water bottle tops
    • Cigarette butts
    • Plastic utensils
    • String and rope
    • Any kinda wrapper
  • One group dug a hole, dumped their waste food in, then didn’t bury it.
  • Trout heads, skins, bones, and guts – anywhere and everywhere.
  • Dog shit – anywhere and everywhere.
  • Unburnable trash got stuffed in the campfire rings.
  • A couple dipshits hacked the bark off half way ‘round a tree. Probably killed it. Why!?

AT THE SAME FUCKIN’ TIME, the fuckin’ shitheads act like I slapped their mommas when I tell them to pay the $8 camp fee or put their dogs on a leash.

If I’d had the Big Red Button in fronta me last night, Ida nuked every human bein’ on this here planet Earth. No bullshit!

At least one nice guest bought me a 6-pack of 7.2%. Time to go get fuckin’ wasted ...

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

Van Life Tax-Free Income, Courtesy USFS
Shit in Woods Goes Gross to Nightmare
Read More »

Last Update: 6/02/2017

Planning to Die Soon

Photo of cemetery with ironic street sign in front marked, "Dead End."
No, Vanholio don't plan to kick the bucket in the near future. This is 'bout a practical program of "carpe diem" (seize the day). Plan to die in six months, then live accordingly.

In a previous post, I done told you all about askin' yourself, "What would you do if you only had six months to live?" That's what Vanholio does. And that guiding star led him to the glorious van life he leads now.

But that ain't been good enough lately. I *still* find myself obsessed with Shoulds and Oughts. Good Ideas and Sensible Plans start takin' over my brain.

Fuck that shit! Vanholio's takin' it the next level. I'm actually planning my life as if I'm really gonna die this New Years Eve. Well, at least if the chance were 90%. The plan does include provision for a 10% chance stayin' on.

So what does Vanholio's last few months look like? Headin' to Manila for hookers and blow? Climbing Mt. McKinley? Punchin' Trump in the nose?

Nah, nothin' so excitin'. I'm pretty happy with the life I got now. But here's what I come up with so far:

  • Plan my estate, including living will, pet provisions, and naming a literary executor. Boring, but I been draggin' my heels on this shit.

  • Take more and longer walks with my dog.

  • Blow off some projects that don't matter for shit.

  • Unsubscribe from a buncha crap that fills up my Inbox.

  • Visit people I care about. Was already plannin' the visits, but now I wanna jazz em up somehow, say with barbecues or parties, make 'em extra special.

  • Write some letters tellin' certain folks how much they mean to me.

  • Visit El Rancho de las Golondrinas, a living history museum in Santa Fe.

What about the sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll, you say? Shit, like I said, I'm pretty happy with my life now. But I do want to figure out some more fun activities. Also wanna figure out what kinda writing projects ta tackle. Maybe some books ta read and movies to see, too.

Again, though, gotta plan for the 10% chance I live. So I'll need to be smart with my savings. Also do some setup for future income. It ain't all "Fuck you, World!"

We'll see how this exercise works out, or if I even stick with it. Vanholio tends to get distracted ...

What would your 6-months-till-checkout plan look like? Any ideas? Wanna plan it seriously, too, and see if it don't make your life better?

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

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Last Update: 5/26/2017

Recipe: Noodly Peanut Chicken Sausage Gumbo

model of flying spaghetti monster

Even a blind hog gets an acorn once in awhile! Even when Vanholio's the blind hog. Even when he roots out groceries at Family Dollar! Easy, tasty, cheap!

It's a real simple recipe, makes 2-3 servings:

I ripped open two packets chicken ramen. Then I broke up the noodle blocks into the pan of my Max Burton Digital Stove to Go. I sprinkled in just 1 of the chicken seasonin' packets (savin' the other for rice maybe.)

Then I poured in the can a Campbell's Chunky Grilled Chicken and Sausage Gumbo. I filled the empty can with water and poured that in after, getting all the stuck bits out.

Finally, I dumped in a couple good globs a crunchy peanut butter. I'd say about 3-4 TBS.

I plugged in the Max Burton Digital Stove to Go and set it to Heat for … shit, I don't know. Maybe 30-45 minutes? I just checked the readout. When it got to about 230 F, I checked the stew. The noodles was swelled and all was simmerin'. 'Course, I stirred it around to make sure the peanut butter got spread out in the stock, makin' a African-style gravy.

Damn! – Rich! Fillin'! Meaty! Spicy! My only complaint was the dogs beggin' for extra shares.

Maybe Vanholio should start a cookin' show on YouTube called "Dollar Store Cookin'." Waddya think?

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

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Last Update: 5/23/2017

Install Marine Plugs on High Amp 12v Devices

Marinco 40A 2 prong plug and socket
Vanholio got some good advice. Changed out the cheap, standard 12v plug on his Max Burton Digital Stove to Go. Swapped it for a Marinco 40A 2-wire plug. Been tickled pink!

DISCLAIMER: Take what follows as a tip, not a how-to. I ain't providin' enough info to learn ya how to rewire your own plugs. But file this notion away for later. All the how-to ya need is out there on the internets when you're ready.

Marinco 40A plug on my Max Burton
Back to it … So, yeah, I installed a trollin' motor plug on my Max Burton Digital Stove to Go. Voided the warranty straight off, I'm sure. But dammit, works way better than all them spring plugs. Those fuckers kept overheatin' and breakin' on me!

See, your standard, legacy 12v plugs are an afterthought design for car cigarrette lighters (I'm pretty damn sure). They're fragile and can't handle much juice neither. But as they're "standard" and "legacy," they're everywhere. Fuck 'em. You can do better.

At top's a picture a what I swapped for – Marinco 40A 2-wire plug (also sold under the MinnKota brand, both brands available in 2 or 3 wire configurations). It's solid as shit, locks in with a twist, and can handle the juice. It's that 40A rating. Don't even get warm when I'm runnin' that 12v stove full blast.

'Course, ya need a matchin' socket for that plug. Duh! So I wired the female into my house battery with 12 AWG wire and a 20A fuse.

For those of you that don't speak electri-tech, that 12 AWG wire is a fatter kind that can handle more juice without overheatin'. The fuse is a fail-safe.

Now, why did I wire the plug into my house battery instead a just replacin' one a the 12v sockets in the van? The most important two reasons is 1) that the Marinco plug would stick up outta the dash funny, and 2) the van's sockets ain't wired to handle enough juice for cookin'.

The third reason I wired the plug to the house battery is that it's part of my solar setup. Vanholio's cookin' with the sun!

If swappin' out plugs and sockets has got your fancy, here's some videos and links with more how-to. And if that ain't enough info, hit up some techie types on the van life forums. (But don't ask Vanholio for no more advice. He knows just enough to get hisself in trouble.)

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

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Last Update: 5/11/2017

Review: 12v Max Burton Digital Stove to Go

Photo of max burton 12v digital stove to go with non-stick pot and steamer tray outside it.

Vanholio’s trusty old RoadPro Stove finally died after 2 years. But no worries! He’s love, love, lovin’ his new 12v Digital Stove to Go by Max Burton. It beats out the RoadPro by a mile! Here’s a review with 10 reasons why …

10 Reasons to Buy a Max Burton Digital Stove to Go

1. Adjustable Cookin’ Temps

The Max Burton has 2 modes: Heat and Temp. Heat mode just keeps pumpin’ juice till the temp gets to a roasty 350° F (177° C). Temp mode, though, lets you set the final temperature to one of 11 settings, from 100-350° F (38-177° C). And the digital display shows you the current temp inside. Meanwhile, the RoadPro just has one temp, 300° F (149° C), and their ain’t nothing to tell you how hot it is presently.

2. Better Shell

I’ll say it: The RoadPro Stove’s plastic lunchbox shell is a bit flimsy. Well, what do ya expect for about $35! And the Max Burton better be better at $70 – and it is. The plastic clamshell’s round edges and superior cover latch’ll hold up more over the long haul.

3. Vertical Design

The RoadPro is more flattish, which ain’t good for soupy things and cookin’ rice while drivin’, or even parked on an angle. Look at the non-stick pan in the photo at top. It’s mainly vertical, so shit won’t slosh around so much. Only thing vertical is worse for is bakin’ a pan a biscuits.

Buy at

4. Raised Feet

On bottom, the Max Burton’s got little feet that raise it half-inch or so. That helps keep from burnin’ your van floor, or wherever you got this thing stuck. The RoadPro is flat on bottom and tends to heat up where it sits.

5. Auto Safety Off

It don’t say nothin’ about this in the user manual, but I discovered it myself. Vanholio had his Max Burton in a tight spot. After startin’ to heat up a bit, it’d turn itself off. Then it worked in a more open spot. Obvious then, it turns itself off if the components get too hot. Better than startin’ a fire!

6. Non-Stick Pan

The Max Burton’s pan is removable for washin’ and non-stick inside. The RoadPro ain’t got no pan included, so you end up havin’ to buy tiny aluminum bread pans.

7. Large Volume

That non-stick pan is 1.5L in volume (a bit more than 6C). Vanholio’s made him enough stew at one go for 2 hefty meals!

8. Steamer/Warmer Tray

Wanna steam your veggies? Maybe warm some tortillas while your beans finish up? Easy. The Digital Stove to Go comes with a fitted steamer/warmer tray, as shown in the photo at top.

9. On-Off Button

Done cookin’ and can’t reach to pull out the 12v plug while drivin’? No problem. Just hit the handy on-off button.

10. 2 Spare Fuses Included

Higher-Amp 12v devices like these are known to pop a fuse now and then. No problem! The Max Burton Digital Stove to Go comes with 2 extra 20A glass fuses. Replacin’ them is easy, too: Just unscrew the 12v plug.

Downside to Max Burton Digital Stove to Go

The one downside to the Max Burton (hell, even the RoadPro Stove) is that it pulls a lot of Amps. Up to 12 or more at times! In some vehicles, that overwhelms the 12v socket's wires and fuses. You'll see that's the No. 1 complaint in the reviews. Or at least, the cause of it.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

Install Marine Plugs on High Amp 12v Devices
Choke Your Chicken in a RoadPro Stove
12 Volt Cooking (website)
Read More »

Last Update: 5/05/2017

Van Life Tax Free Income, Courtesy USFS

Altered US Forest Service sign says "Smokey is Very High Today."
Only YOU can get paid for volunteer work with the US Forest Service, National Park Service, Bureau of Land Management, and Corps of Engineers. It ain't much, but for van life down by the river, you don't really need much neither.

Vanholio's been tappin' this resource for months. It's a good gig for rubber tramps. Mind you, it ain't been enough to save. But it's been coverin' my expenses. Been makin' over $500 a month as a park host – tax free! – plus other benefits good as cash.

If you're thinkin' about workin' for better pay with a concessionaire, these volunteer positions is good experience. It ain't just camp host and park host jobs neither. You can do landscaping, trail maintenance, tree planting, visitor info booths – all kinds a shit.

Most a the volunteer positions just give ya an RV spot, true. Worth it if ya need hookups, but useless for true van life. But the payin' ones is hidden around LOOK! Check state sites, too.

I done wrote up all the details in an article on Check it out.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

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Last Update: 4/24/2017

#Vanlife Still Good After Two Years?

Man crammed among belongings falling out of back of van. Van life! #Vanlife!
Question van life noobs and wannabes ask: Does anyone still do van life after a couple years? How long does anyone wanna live in a van down by the river?

First off, there’s tons a van lifers out there who’ve been doin’ this for decades. Most a them aren’t social media sensations. That’s why ya didn’t know about ‘em.

But Vanholio can only speak for Vanholio. I been doin’ this for two years now, give’r take. And I’m sure as hell set to keep on rollin’!

What’s Still Great About Van Life

My chief hope for van life turned out real good. That’s livin’ in the peace an’ quiet of nature. Still love that. As a tyke, I never did wanna come home from campin’. No I don’t ever need to.

The lifestyle is also sustainable cheap. Base expenses are around $500 a month (of course I spend more than that with luxuries.) That means less workin’ for Vanholio, and more time in nature

And while I ain’t travelin’ as much as Year 1, I still get to see lotsa cool shit.

What I Didn’t Expect About Van Life

I kinda wish I’d gotten a 4WD. Vanholio likes boondockin’ way back there, and he’s scraped up the bottom of the van more than a few times. Expensive repairs, too.

Learned, too, that I don’t need near as much shit as I bought. Just like backpackin’, less is more.

Another thing I learned is I like havin’ a job. Last couple months, Vanholio’s been workin’ as a US Forest Service volunteer. It’s nice havin’ meaningful work and relatin’ to coworkers and the public. Miss home a bit, too, from time to time.

All in all, van life is the life for me. Even if most of it ain’t all that more excitin’ than any other life.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

Top 10 Questions About Living in a Van
#Vanlife, the Bohemian Social-Media Movement (New Yorker)
Read More »

Last Update: 4/10/2017

Bad Luck Comes in 3’s – No Joke!

Bad Luck Comes in Three’s. Break a Match!

There’s an old sayin’: Bad luck comes in three’s. Well, last Friday, Vanholio done found out that's true for hisself. And sweet van life is no protection. Dammit.

First thing …

… in the mornin’, I went to get a pill from the new bottle of my prescription. But I couldn’t damn well find the bottle! Musta thrown the fucker out. Gettin’ a replacement prescription sorted out between the doctor and pharmacy took nearly all day. Not to mention a 50 mile drive into Walmart.

Second thing …

... a fellow asked Vanholio for change to a $20. Went for my billfold, and it turned out I’d dropped my wad a cash somewhere. That wad was somewhere between $50 and $60! Fuck me!

Third thing …

… was losin’ my MiFi somewhere. I think at the Walmart when a bundle of shit fell outta the van in the dark. But oddly enough, discoverin’ that a bit later didn’t even make me mad none. I just sighed and went to bed. Day over.

Some days it just don’t pay ta get outta bed. Seriously.

PS – Sorry for slackin’ on the posts lately. Vanholio’s been workin’ a van life seasonal job that’s got him plumb wore out most days. But that’ll be over end a the month. Thank God!!!

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

Buying a Van First Was a Huge Fucking Mistake
Digging Myself Into a Hole – Literally
Read More »

Last Update: 3/31/2017

10 Worst Things About Van Life

Van upside down in Chinese restaurant store front. Van life!

Look at van life Instagrams, and you’d think it’s all a rolling bed a fuckin’ roses! Well, down by the river’s got it’s bullshit, too …

10 Ways Van Life Can Suck Bigly

  1. Gas – And by “gas,” I mean flatulence. Even a full-size hightop is a small space when ya been hittin’ the garlic.

  2. Indie Hipster Girls – According ta redditor Tired_Thumb, hot hippie chicks in Portland and such places’ll hook up with ya just for a #vanlife selfie. Terrible! :-P

  3. Sex Killers – “If the van is a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’.” Well, in Vanholio’s experience, a van telegraphin’ sex is a turnoff for most gals.

  4. Noisy Neighbors – Unless you’re boondockin’,, traffic, people walkin’ by, and the like are loud and fuckin’ annoying. That’s why Vanholio don’t like Walmart campin’ all that much.

  5. Wet Weather – First off, when ya get into the van all wet, ya get water over everythin’. And nothin’ sucks big donkey balls like steppin’ out into a thunderstorm or blizzard ta take a pee at 3 am.

  6. Breakdowns – Most folks think vandwellers are homeless. But when your van’s in the shop, ya really feel that way.

  7. Honey-Do’s – Got all kinds a little custom features in your build? That’s all fuckin’ great until they break. Then it’s up ta you ta get around ta fixin’ ‘em. That includes trackin’ down parts.

  8. Gift Gaffs – What do family and friends buy for the van life nomad who ain’t got room for nothin’ nohow? Consternation abounds.

  9. The Man – Bureaucrats make dealin’ with feds, states, and even private businesses a pain in the ass when ya ain’t got no fixed address. But there are shady workarounds ...

  10. Idle Hands – When you’re livin’ van life cheap and ain’t workin’ too hard, ya get lots a free time. But what then? Leisurely livin’ ain’t as easy as it sounds.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

Shit in Woods Goes Gross to Nightmare
How I Got REAL ID With No Fixed Address
Read More »

Last Update: 3/24/2017

Buying a Van First Was a Huge Fucking Mistake

Old VW van in wrecking yard. So much for van life!

When Vanholio started van life, he blew a wad on customizin' the "perfect" van rig. That was a fuckin’ mistake! Shoulda saved my money and bided my time.

Imitation Is the Sincerest Form of Stupidity

"I say beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes." — Henry David Thoreau

Shoulda heeded them words. But nooooo, Vanholio wanted ta be like the cool van life kids, the ones on YouTube an' such. He saw it in his mind’s eye: that ideal van that’d drive him ta Utopia in comfort an’ style.

I tell you what, Vanholio spent near $35k cash ta build his dream van! For once in my life, I had the money'n time ta do a project just like I wanted, no compromises. An' by golly, sound thinkin’ weren’t gonna stop me!

Now, I’m happy enough with Buttermilk, she does alright. But as I’ve been out on the road, I discovered I way overspent on solar an' other crap. An’ buyin’ a new van off the lot? Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Dammit, if I had that $35k still an' invested, that’d be another $2,000-3,000 yearly income. Or ta translate, I’d have near 4-6 months base expenses covered.

Hit the Road in What You Own Already

I shoulda left town in my old Honda Civic. It ran good. An’ my buddy’s’n I coulda converted her in a weekend for $200 or so. Shit, all ya really need is comfortable-enough bed’n ta keep the weather off ya!

Or hell, I coulda bought a used Prius an' been done with it. Them little cars’d do Vanholio, minimal as he lives. An' cheap as he is, the mileage is fuckin’ attractive!

Or maybe I shoulda gone the other way! I’ve pushed Buttermilk into 4WD-only situations. Learned I really like goin’ way back in the boonies. On do-over, maybe Vanholio’d get an SUV or a pickup with a camper top. Used, a course.

Don’t Buy Till You KNOW What Works for You

Ya sure as hell don’t need the perfect fuckin’ van life rig. Just get the fuck out there in whatever ya got! Save your money. Figure out what you really need. An’ if your old car don’t cut it, then get your dream van life rig. Whatever the fuck that may be, van or not.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

6 Questions to Ask When Choosing Your Van Life Rig
Can I live in a ____________ ? (Rolling Steel Tent)
Traveling in a Prius (Cheap RV Living)

Read More »

Last Update: 3/17/2017

Slow the Fuck Down to Reduce Roadkill

Roadkill fox on pavement, a van life feature
Goddamnit, I hate seein’ smashed animals on the road. Wanna hunt a critter? Fine. But cut them roadkill numbers down by not drivin’ your van like a fuckin’ maniac. Ain't van life all about takin' it easy, after all?

Critters Can’t Avoid High-Speed Vans

Got ta thinkin’ about this shit just before Christmastime when I were headed inta Texas. Along the Lone Star State's western highways, I was seein’ more roadkill than I’d seen in months. It was a fuckin’ massacre. Why? Seein' that kinda shit's one a the worst things about being a van life nomad.

I think it was how fast Texans drive out there. Ain’t no critter got a chance when a car’s zipping at 80 mph. How could they? Could you?

Keep It Below 55 MPH

Graph: Roadkill by posted speed limit in Yellowstone
Roadkill by posted speed limit in Yellowstone 
Yellowstone National Park looked at the problem and found that between 45 and 55 mph is when the roadkill numbers spiked (see graph).

That feels about right ta Vanholio. Where I’m at now, in high desert, there’s a shit-ton a rabbits and jackrabbits out at night, besides deer and free-range cattle. Ton a roadkill rabbits, too.

Noticed that when I keep my night speed around 40 mph, I don’t even come close ta hittin’ ‘em. Plus last night I had plenty a time ta stop for a calf in the road. But when I go the posted speed limit a 55 or 65 mph, seems like I’m always about ta crunch a bunnie.

What’s Your Need for Speed?

Why are Americans so greedy ta get where they’re goin’? Slowin’ down is good for your nerves. Plus it saves ya gas money. You’re less likely ta kill a critter by accident, too. An’ if the critter’s a deer or hog, you’ll save your van from expensive repairs, or worse.

Jesus Fuckin’ Christ, just relax an’ take your goddamn time already! Especially at night when the critters is out.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

Save Money, Gas, and Globe – Slow Down!
Eating Roadkill Rabbit Down by the River
Rise in Roadkill Requires New Solutions (Scientific American)
Wildlife-Vehicle Collision Reduction Study: Report To Congress (Federal Highway Administration)

Read More »

Last Update: 3/07/2017

How Bitcoin and Blockchain Cryptocurrencies Work – in Plain English!

Images of chains made by blue digital dots
Vanholio's been hearin' about Bitcoin, Monero, Litecoin, Dash, and the blockchain rest of 'em years. But no one could explain ta him how this shit works. Till now!

Thank God, too! Vanholio's sore from takin' it up the ass from banksters an' their fees, and havin' the Gov'ment look over his every bit a business. Really sore. Plus this kinda tech is a boon to workin' digital nomads, in vans or not. Now the only trick is findin' clients and stores to do business with ...

Check out this Dash School video series below by journalist Amanda B. Johnson. The first three videos explain blockchain-based cryptocurrencies in general. Then in the last three, she pushes her favorite, Dash.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

Read More »

Last Update: 3/03/2017

10 Trims for Lean, Low-Bandwidth Web Surfing

Man uses knife to trim excess fat off ham
Slow internet got ya down? Trimmin’ data cost? Common van life complaint for nomads and rubbertramps. Try these 10 hacks for better performance. Also try these 5 Chrome extensions I posted about before.

1. Use HTML or POP Email

Gmail, Yahoo, and Outlook/Hotmail all got light versions that is HTML only. They can all also be accessed via a POP/IMAP email client for offline readin’.

2. Load Mobile Versions of Websites

Accessin’ mobile websites takes a lot less data. They’re made thataway! Two ways to do this. Easiest is put an "m" in front of the URL, for example, If that don’t work, trick the website inta thinkin’ you’re a phone usin' an extension, like User-Agent Switcher for Google Chrome. Not all sites gotta mobile version, but if they do, you’re in like Flynn.

3. Use Web Apps Offline

In a backpeddlin’ move, lots a web apps got offline access. Here I’m thinkin’ a Google Docs and Zoho, for example. But lots others do this, too. Look ‘round, dammit!

4. Use a Newsreader or News Aggregator

RSS newsreaders ain’t as popular as some years ago. But they’re still out there! In one screen, ya can see the latest from all your favorite blogs and websites. Vanholio uses Minimal Reader with images turned off – FAST!

News aggregators is almost the same thing, but not quite. They’re websites that pull together headlines tweaked your interests. Saves surfin’ time and data. is one example, but there’s tons.

5. Get Your Daily News and Blog Updates via Email

Lots a news websites got daily email digests ya sign up fur. Plus there’s special news digest services out there, like Daily Digest and Need2Know. Also, Lots a blogs got automatic post emails, so ya don’t have ta pull up the site.

Location of cache page in Google Search
6. View Cached Webpages

When ya search in Google, there’s usually a pulldown by the links in search results. That’ll let ya see a cache of the page, pulled from Google servers. Faster access. These can even be viewed text-only for true zippity-do-dah! is a search engine just for cached pages.

7. Post and Comment on Social Media via Email

Most a your big-time social media sites – Facebook, Twitter, etc. – let ya post, comment, and see others’ posts and comments via email notices. Much less data than goin’ ta the site, particularly if you’re doin’ HTML email. Check your prefs an’ dig around.

8. Use IFTTT or a Social Media Manager

IFTTT (If This, Then That) picks up the slack where your social media won’t let ya work ‘em through email. Vanholio posts a ton a shit by sendin’ an email to IFTTT, which then does the post for him. Plus IFTTT can do a TON more shit. Ya can also use a social media manager, like HootSuite.

Motion Picture Video Resolution Chart 9. Watch Video at Low Resolutions

Know those damn quality numbers on YouTube? Well here’s a fact, they multiply, not add. 720p is 4 times as much data as 360p, for example. So for all video sites with some kinda quality settin’, watch on the lowest ya can stand. And hell, if it’s all talk or music, ya can rip it to MP3 for download.

10. Download Video and Audio for Later Use

While YouTube, SoundCloud, Vimeo, the rest don’t like it, ya can download audio and video content when you’re at public internet (or a family or friend’s house). Then enjoy it later – without burnin’ your data up!

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

5 Chrome Extensions to Accelerate Your Web Browsing
View Your Snail Mail Online From Anywhere
Read More »

Last Update: 2/28/2017

First Step to Van Life? Trash Your Junk!

Can't start van life till all this junk in this junky garage is trashed!
Every journey starts with a single step. For van life, that step is trashin' all your crap, you fuckin' hoarder. Here's how to do it right!

Vanholio can't take credit for this one. Hashtag Van Life posted it first, and they used the method from some Ted Talk video. Seems sound.

Here's the steps as Hashtag Van Life put 'em:

  1. Pack up all of your belongings as if you were moving (clothes, kitchenware, towels, electronics, toiletries, etc)
  2. Continue to live in your home for 3-4 weeks
  3. Unpack only the items that you need
  4. Donate or sell everything that is still in boxes

Check out the video below, and check out Hash Tag Vanlife for other cool ideas. Their Twitter kicks ass, BTW!

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

Is Van Life for You?
Top 10 Questions About Living in a Van
Hashtag Van Life (website)

Read More »

Last Update: 2/24/2017

All the Whores I Knowed Before

German street hooker bends down to talk to client in car. Photo by Ralfdix, (CC BY-SA 3.0)
Ever wonder what visitin’ a hooker is really like? Vanholio relates his experience with eight prostitutes on three continents. 99 percent true! Only the names been changed. Not exactly van life, but it’s travel and exploration.

It’s all in Vanholio's short new ebook, All the Whores I Knowed Before. You’ll learn how things work on the US streets, Nevada, Austria, Malaysia, and Thailand. I cover the legal and illegal. Plus talk a bit about the touristy parts a them places and what else I were up to.

Chapters include:

Ch. 1 – The Driveby Hooker
Ch. 2 – Doublemint Fun
Ch. 3 – Jawhol, Frau Linkmeyer!
Ch. 4 – Everyone Loves a Happy Ending
Ch. 5 – What's Your Lucky Number?
Ch. 6 – Happy Birthday, Mr. President

Ch. 7 – Scotch on My Rocks

Get All the Whores I Knowed Before at, Smashwords, and other ebook retailers. Most'll show ya a sample.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

Trim Pot Harvest to Keep Van Life Rolling
The Honest Courtesan (blog)
Read More »

Last Update: 2/21/2017

5 Chrome Extensions to Accelerate Your Web Browsing

Donut King deliver van shoots down the road at high speed due to flaming jet exhaust out of back
For van life digital nomads and rubbertramps, internet data speed is a problem. Either we’re budgeting data to save money or we’re dealin’ with a shitty slow connection. These five extensions will speed things up.

Vanholio uses all five extensions together, so he can vouch. But they got cousins in the Chrome Web Store that do about the same. I bet there’s similar for Firefox, Safari, and other browsers.

5 Data Saving Chrome Extensions

Adblock – Does just what it says. Supposedly the most popular Chrome extension of all time. It don’t block everythin’, but it blocks most.
Data Saver – This here Google-made extension shrunks, e.g., “optimizes,” the web pages you’re pullin’ on Google servers. Cuts Vanholio’s data 5-10 percent.
Disable HTML Autoplay – I fuckin’ hate it when videos just go off by themselves. This extension cuts that bullshit out.
Ghostery – Ton a sites these days shove extra trackin’ code down your throat. Helps them, not you. Kills privacy. This’ll stop ‘em.
Text Mode – This keeps all images and video from auto-loadin’, leavin’ a box where they was. If you wanna see the image after all, you can click on it to reveal.

All these five extensions have options to turn them off on pages you wanna fully load for one reason or other.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

How to Read Your Mail Online Anywhere
How To Make Google Chrome Faster? (QD Tricks)
32 Hidden Chrome Features That Will Make Your Life Easier (PCMag)
Read More »

Last Update: 2/17/2017

Why Work When You Don’t Have To?

Pig sticks his head out of a hole he dug for fun, piggy smile on his face. He enjoys his work and play!
Simple enough damn question. For most, the answer is, I gots bills to pay. But what happens when you’re livin’ van life on the cheap and bills ain’t no issue no more? When you’re living in a van down by the river, what the fuck you gonna do with all that time?

What If You Didn’t Need to Work?

When your van life expenses are down to $500 to $600 a month and the credit monkey’s off your back, what next? That kinda money’s easy to come by. And if you got some passive income going, why it’s even easier. Thanks to luck and plannin’, that’s where Vanholio is now. Strange territory.

Let’s get more philosophical for a second. Let’s say the fuckin’ robots take most a our jobs in the next few decades. It’ll put a lot a people outta work. And this time it’s lookin’ like maybe new bullshit jobs won’t replace ‘em.

One thing bein’ discussed by big shots is givin’ every man, woman, and child a Basic Income. Free money to each’n’every citizen, just for bein’ alive!  I shit you not! Think of it as a dividend on the GDP. Won’t be much, but it’ll keep ya fed. Common number thrown around is $10,000 a year per person. Bet lot’s more would take up van life then!

Even as we speak, the ideal’s bein’ tested smalltime in the USA and around the world.

Aha! you say, People won’t work ‘lessen they have to! Folks’ll get lazy and sink into vice and depredation.

But will they? Do we work just ‘cause the creditor is at the door in wolf’s clothing, huffin’ and puffin’ and ready to blow the house down? And is work just the efforts that’s paid in the market? I ain’t so sure …

8 Reasons We’ll Work Despite Basic Income

Vanholio contends that we work for a whole lotta reasons besides keepin’ food on the table. There’s pleasure in work, paid or not. And if’n we had Basic Income or some kinda financial independence, we’d be doin’ work that gives us pleasure – like a pig diggin’ in shit. Don’t matter whether he’s hungry.

1. Boredom

OK, this don’t exactly sound like a pleasure, but hear me out. Thing is, people like to keep busy. We go plumb crazy if’n we ain’t got nothin’ ta do. So we’ll find somethin’ to do, trust me. Best if we keep busy doin' creative or useful things, though, rather’n sin.

In fact, keepin’ busy is good for our health. Retired folks know that. Thems that keeps busy have a good life. Thems that don’t complain all the time and die earlier.

2. Caring

Did your momma and daddy wipe your ass and teach ya manners ‘cause someone paid 'em? Hell no! In these days, it ain’t even like you was bred for extra farm hands. Nope, it was love, charity in the Christian sense.

The fact is, people need people, and that ain’t gonna change. We might build robots to do some a the domestic gruntwork for thems that need help, but the robots ain’t gonna love ‘em.

And there’s a lot a callin's that are about lovin’ one another: counselors, parents, teachers, preachers, animal rescuers, soldiers, massage therapists … Oh hell, you get the point.

3. Status

Better or worse, humans is hierarchical critters. We always work to better ourselves in the peckin’ order. So whether it’s for money or recognitions, we’re gonna work. Ain’t no one hardly’s gonna be happy bein’ another nobody.

4. Idealism

Saw a general testifyin’ before Congress about recruitin’ more hot IT guys to protect against hackers. Congressman asked the general, “How are we going to recruit more top IT professionals when they can make a lot more money in Silicon Valley?”

The general responded, “We’ll recruit those who are attracted by a sense of mission.”

Lotsa people take on work outta idealism more than a check. I mean, are soldiers really paid enough to risk a bullet? Hell no! Most take on the mission because they believe in American ideals.

5. Luxury

While a few are natural minimalists, most people like their toys. Basic Income ain’t gonna get you an ATV, Buddy! Most don’t think life’s worth livin’ if they can’t have a little somethin’ extra. That could be anythin’ from a chocolate bar to seein’ the goddamn Taj Majal! Whatever extra folks crave, they’ll work for it.

6. Play

Humans is creative. Whether we get paid or not, we’re gonna do what we’ve always done: art, music, storytellin’, sports, clothes, buildin’, workin’ on cars, cookin’, and a million other things. If anything’, people will do more when they’re free of bullshit jobs suckin’ their time up. We’ll all benefit, whether or not cash changes hands.

7. Curiosity

What drives scientists, engineers, and scholars of all stripes? It’s discovery, learnin’ something new. Hell, it’s what drives Vanholio to travel! I gotta see what’s in the next valley. Curiosity'll always drive people to make discoveries and solve problems. And problems that need solvin’ ain’t ever goin’ away neither.

8. Self-Betterment

Who’s 100 percent satisfied with themselves? A few potheads and retards maybe? Not many. People’ll keep busy with learnin’ new languages, new skills, gettin’ fit and strong, buildin’ better relationships, and a million other ways to become better people.

How Would You Keep Busy?

Are you financially independent? Workin’ to get that way? Retired? What do you do or plan to do to keep busy? Will you try to make money off your efforts or not? Comment below!

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

I Caught the Car, Now What!?
About Basic Income (BIEN)

Read More »

Last Update: 2/14/2017

Stuck Up Where the Tow Trucks' Lights Don't Shine

Aerial photo of Kilbourne Hole by Akanawa, CC BY-SA 3.0
Stuck in the sand. 30 miles from town. Off road in the desert. Up a sand-dune ridge where tow trucks can’t and won’t go. How the hell was I gettin’ outta this one?

This is concluding clusterfuck of “Digging Myself Into a Hole – Literally.”

Roadside Support Ain’t ‘Off Road” Support

It was mid-afternoon on Day 3 of being stuck in the sand atop the high, sand-dune ridge of remote Kilbourne Hole. I’d given up diggin’ myself out andu decided it was high time to call AAA for a tow. So I did.

When the AAA agent looked at the GPS coordinates I gave him, he advised dumbass Vanholio, “Yeah, see, your roadside support is roadside. Umm, we can’t help you offroad.”

Called Tow Company No 1, the AAA contractor. They declined to come extract me from Kilbourne Hole. Said their equipment wouldn’t get up the ridge. Referred me to a company in Las Cruces.

Called Tow Company No. 2. Nope, they couldn’t do it. Even asked me, “How the hell did you even get a front wheel drive van up there!?” Good question.

Called Tow Company No. 3. Strike three. Not lookin' good. Not many options.

Good Lord Protects Idiots

Got a call back from the tow truck driver at Tow Company No. 3. As it turned out, his friend Mike was an offroad junky who was willin’ to come pull me out after work.

After a bit, Mike and I talked. His jeep and gear was up to the job. He knows Kilbourne Hole well. We agreed on a (hefty) price. He said he’d show up about 5:30 pm.

After 3 days of stuckage, Vanholio was gonna be free at last, free at last, Lord have moicy, free at last!

Around and Around and Around

Well, Mike wasn’t gonna get there till after 8 pm, turns out. Boss made him work late. No problem. This time a year, dark is dark at 5:30 or 8. I waited.

At about 8:30, Mike calls and asks if I can see his spotlight. But I can’t see shit. He says to watch out for him, he’s gonna drive around the road at the base of the ridge. I wait a long time. I can’t see shit. He can’t find me.

We agree that I’m gonna walk down to the county road and wait. So I do.

Walkin' Alone in the Desert at Night Is Plain Dumb

Vanholio takes off down the hill toward the road. Now, in the Chihuahuan desert at night, you can’t hardly tell a jeep trail from a bare patch, even with a flashlight. I couldn’t.

So I end up wandering around trying to find the road. It’s in the 30s. I’m underdressed. The flashlight battery is dying. I can’t get a phone signal in the flats.

Thank God I at least had the stars and the lights of El Paso to steer by!

After a good while, I found the road and waited. No Mike. I wait some more. The flashlight is dim. No Mike.

Finally recalling my Boy Scout trying and realizing I’ve put myself in a dangerous position. See, in a search, one person needs to hold still. That shoulda been me, seein' as I was the stuck one. Also, I was riskin' hypothermia had I got lost or injured out there.

I head back toward the van along the jeep trail (which I’ve found again). Once atop the ridge, I get a signal and Mike on the phone. He says he’s been drivin’ around the ridge, around and around, and hasn’t seen me or the van. Well, no shit.

What the fuck is going on? How can this be? It’s nearly 10 pm by this point.

Don’t Know My Asshole From Kilbourne Hole

Well, I get back to the van and have a think. Did I give Mike correct GPS coordinates? Did I send him off just far enough to miss me in the dark at night?

Then Vanholio has a brainstorm: Can he get the GPS coordinates of his new Jitterbug flip phone by calling the 5Star Urgent Response Center?

He calls. 5Star provides. He looks on the Google Map. The coordinates are way off from the ones he gave Mike. Really off. How can this be?

Turns out that Vanholio only thought he was at Kilbourne Hole. Turns out that he was actually at Hunt’s Hole, another crater about 2-3 miles south of Kilbourne. It’s shaped about the same, only smaller.

See, Vanholio had guestimated his GPS coordinates by looking at a Google Map. But where he guestimated he was located was on Kilbourne Hole. Which he wasn’t. Look at the photo, and you’ll see.

Satellite view of Kilbourne Hole and Hunt's Hole, similar in shape and close together

Rescue Mike Almost Bails on Vanholio

“You’re gonna kill me, Mike,” I said. “I gave you the wrong coordinates. I’m on that southeastern corner, but only on Hunt’s Hole.”

Pause. Silence.

“Is this a prank!?” said Mike.

“No. I don’t know what to say to convince you.”

“This is soundin’ kina prankish to me,” said Mike.

Well, it got fuckin’ ugly for a minute there.

Finally, Mike says, “Alright, I’ll drive down to Hunt’s Hole. Be there in 10 minutes. But if this is a prank, I’m gonna seriously hurt you.”

He was not joking. Trust me.

Rescue Arrives – Finally and for Reals

After 15-20 minutes, Mike found me. After me seeing his red tail lights from the distance. He almost gave up, but I waved him in with my flashlight. Phew.

We got to work.

He tried pullin’ me out with strap and chain. First time he got his own jeep stuck in the sand. Second time the strap broke ‘cause dumbass Vanholio had the van in park.

He went afront a me and pulled from there. Van kept getting stuck in the yucca of my brilliant bridge to freedom. Fuck.

But finally, finally, finally, after a few restuckin’ occurrences in the soft sand of that high ridge – at HUNT’S HOLE – we got back down to the road. I followed him into Las Cruces.

We got to Las Cruces T&A Travel Center about 1 am. After I got some ATM cash to pay Mike, he headed out.

And Vanholio headed into a much-appreciated, hot, long, $13 truck stop shower. Then to bed and dreams of better days, right there in the parking lot.

Moral: If you want to off road, get a 4WD. Dumbass.

The End

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

Digging Myself Into a Hole – Literally
Get Help ANYWHERE You Travel 2013 – Jitterbug
Wandering Around the Kilbourne Hole (The Gentle Art of Wandering)

Read More »

Last Update: 2/10/2017

Digging Myself Into a Hole – Literally

Vanholio’s Promaster City van front end wheels dug into a New Mexico sand hole at Hunts Hole  –
Van life ain’t all sunrise vanagon yoga photos. Oh, hell no! Sometimes all goes to shit. Like a couple weeks ago: Got the van sand-trapped at Kilbourne Hole. It’s a dune-rimmed, volcanic crater in south-central New Mexico.

Here’s the 3-day nightmare and how my dumbass attempts at a fix fucked things up more.

Where It All Went Wrong

Vanholio was headin’ from Columbus, New Mexico to Las Cruces. Thought it’d be cool to take the back roads through the southern bit a Organ Mountains-Desert Peaks National Monument to see the mountains, the hole, and what else might be out there.

When I got to Kilbourne Hole (after some wrong turns), why, I looked up at that crater rim – up high and out there 30 miles from the nearest town – and I thought it’d be even cooler to spend the night up top.

I cut off the county road, followed the jeep trail to the hole, and started up the rim.

Now, that rim is pretty much a sand dune. Windblown sand has caught up there on the volcanic basalt rock below. And it’s steep. So as I climbed up the soft sand dune, my front wheels dug in and slowed. (The van is a front wheel drive.) Then I came to a stop afore the top a that bit.

As Vanholio was rolling back down the hill, he thought, You know, Vanholio, see that little spot over there? Down here at the bottom? Why don’t you camp there for the night, and maybe hike up the dune to see the crater. No point takin’ a risk.

I shoulda stopped with that thought right there. But did I? NOPE!

The little devil on Vanholio’s shoulder piped in. Vanholio, he said, If you back up and get a running start, you can make it to the top.

Good idea! I thought. And that’s where it all went wrong.

It Worked! (Until It Didn’t)

I backed up the van, gunned it, and ran up that bit a hill, swervin’ the wheel back and forth, plowing sand before me.

At the top, the trail continued upward to my right (eastward) as the rim got higher over that away. I gunned it again and whipped on up at 30 mph, plowing through where the sand was softer.

Until I got almost to the highest point. At a dip in the trail, the sand got … well, whatever the opposite of packed is. I stalled climbin’ outta the dip. Then I tried reversin’ back up out the other way. Just ended up gettin’ stuck at the bottom.

Tryin’ to power out, my front wheels dug down like a pig after kitty shit.

The Extraction Protraction

Day 1

Dried yucca, lumber, sticks, and rocks gathered in a pile
Stage 1: Gathering debris

Seein' the situation, naturally Vanholio did the obvious and shoved some dried yucca and sticks under the tires to get traction. (That's the photo at top.)

Didn’t do shit. Every time I tried to work out, I just dug them front wheels in deeper and deeper.

It were late and gettin’ dark. Plus I was powerful tired and not thinkin’ none too straight. So I said fuckit and went to bed.

Sand leveled out flatter with board in front of van
Stage 2: Leveling sand

Day 2

With some sleep and calm thinkin’, Vanholio realized this was gonna take a full excavation. It was gonna take plannin’ and stages.

Actually had a lotta time to think ‘cause it rained most a the day. Not hard, really a drizzle. But a drizzle with dark clouds and wind and temps in the 40s is kinda miserable. And a hypothermia risk.
Piece of plywood underneath the right front tire for traction
Stage 3: Lumber under tire

No hurry nohow. Had more than a week a food and water packed. Kilbourne Hole is a beautiful campin’ spot. And I had internet. Everythin’ a man could want, besides a willin’ woman.

Later on, a couple hours before sunset, the weather cleared. So I set about Stage 1, collectin’ dead yucca, lumber, sticks, and rocks to build my bridge to freedom.

Day 3

Yucca, sticks, boards, and rocks laid out in two tracks in front of font tires, like a railroad to freedom
Stage 4: Building a bridge

Next morning was clear, sunny, and warmish. Then I set to Stage 2, levelin’ the sand out before the van.

That done, I dug more under the front wheels and put lumber under them for a stronger, more stable footin’. That was Stage 3.

Stage 4 was usin’ the rest a that debri to make a bridge out in front a the van.

Finally, Stage 5 was diggin’ out the sand from under the body, particularly from under the front suspension and engine block.

It was mid-afternoon by this point. Vanholio was filfthy, sore, and tired. But it was worth it. This setup had to work.

He got into the van, turned on the engine, and proceeded to work the gas and gears, rockin’ back and forward to gain his freedom momentum.

But all the dumbass did was dig them front wheels in further and further. Damn near to China. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Callin’ in the Tow Boys

Closeup of sand between front tires, supporting suspension and engine block
Problem: Sand under suspension, engine
This was the situation: As the front tires dug into the sand, that front underbody kept gettin’ rebeached. That’s the big reason I couldn’t get no play.

Now, it’s possible that with jacks, rocks, and a whole lotta diggin’, Vanholio coulda fully excavated the van outta there. Possible.

But I didn’t have no jacks nor rocks. And dammit, I was justly fearful a gettin’ pinned underneath. Then I’d have a real fuckin’ problem, I tell you what!

It was time to call a tow truck, godammit! Which I did.

But that turned out to be a whole other clusterfuck. I’ll relate that shitstorm in the next posted manifesto.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

Get Help ANYWHERE You Travel 2013 – Jitterbug
Stuck Up Where the Tow Trucks' Lights Don't Shine
7 Tools to Bring With You Before Getting Stuck in Sand, Snow, or Mud (Popular Mechanics)
How to Get Your Car Unstuck from Mud or Sand (Budget Direct)

Read More »