Last Update: 8/06/2016

Eating Fried Crow in South Texas Swelter

Vanholio’s post two weeks ago crowed on about how I acclimatize myself to all kinds a weather. Well, now that crow is gettin’ fried up crispy in South Texas.

I didn’t lie, mind you. Vanholio’s been wearing shorts and sandals in all kinds of weather, from sub-zero blizzards to Southwest desert’s triple digits. Been comfy in the van at night, too. But then he came home to the South Texas Gulf Coast in August – triple digits AND shower-room humidity. The daytime heat index is about 125 F, and 97 F at night.

South Texas Is Killing Me


What the fuck was I thinking? This place ain’t fit for human habitation this time a year! I knew that. … But no, I had “bidness” to attend to and people to see. Never gonna time it for summer again, though, I tell you what.

After sweating in the van a couple nights, I asked around if anyone could put me and the dogs up. Nope. So I’ve been paying too much fucking money to stay at a Motel 6.

Goddamn, I fucking hate being here, visitin’ with the peeps aside. It’s too dang hot. I’m trapped inside all day away from steamy heat and traffic. I want to be back in cool mountains! It’s depressing as shit.

Leaving next week and starting north, north, NORTH! Thank you, Jeezus!

Cool Vandwelling in Hot, Humid Weather?


Now, could I have made this work without a motel or a room somewhere? Probably.

If I were at a campsite, I could sleep outside in the hammock all day and night. I got a bug net. Probably need a portable fan, too.

Or I could install a portable A/C in the van, which’d only be worth it were I living here for months instead of weeks. But it’s doable.

Or maybe I coulda even took up that Wif Hof Method shit. But Vanholio’s frankly too fucking lazy. I’d much rather be someplace cooler. Altitude and latitude: That’s the ticket.

Fuck this shit! And fuck Texas! There, I said it.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

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2 comments:

  1. We know Texans lean heavily toward craziness. The question is if they're crazy because of the weather, or if they live in that weather because they're crazy.

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    Replies
    1. Not sure. What do the winters do to Minnesotans?

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