Last Update: 4/22/2016

RoadPro Stove Secrets – Hard Boiled Eggs

Did you know you can make hard boiled eggs in your RoadPro Stove? All you need to do is bake them in the shell. Then add fresh eggs to salads, sandwiches, etc.
See, it occurred to me one day, why the fuck do we boil eggs? Can’t you bake the sons of bitches? Do they explode or what?
Nope. Found info on ye ol’ web that sure enough you can bake ‘em. So I set about to do it in my trusty RoadPro Stove. Here’s how:

1. Make Gadgets

You’ll need to make some gadgets, if you don’t have them already, to keep the eggs from touching the sides. The RoadPro stove has a heating element under the inside bottom. That’s the hot spot. The heat also conducts through the side and lid metal. To have even heating, you can’t let those eggs touch the sides.

Shown in the photo are some rough and ready gadgets I made. The ring of foil is a trivet to keep the small foil pan from touching that hot bottom. The two smashed cans are spacers keep the foil pan and its contents from touching the sides.

2. Put in Gadgets, Then Eggs

First, you put in the trivet. Then you put the pan atop the trivet. Pin the pan to the center with the spacers. Finally, add your in-the-shell eggs.

3. Close and Bake for 1:45

Close up your RoadPro Stove. Set it somewhere where it won’t knock about much. Then plug it in for 1 hour and 45 minutes. I usually just unplug the stove and leave the eggs inside to cool.

If you overcook the eggs, the whites and shells start turning brown. But don’t worry if you get a little brown. They taste fine and keep the right mouthfeel.

That’s it! Really damned easy to hard boil eggs by baking them in your RoadPro Stove. Even an idiot like me can’t fuck it up!

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Last Update: 4/11/2016

Ramen and Peanut Butter Good as Sex

Uncooked block of ramen noodles is stuck in a bowl of creamy peanut butter

Think chocolate and peanut butter are the fucking bomb? Then you’ll L-O-V-E hot ramen noodles mixed with PB. It’s cheap, filling, nutritious, and delicious!

Instant ramen and peanut butter are the perfect combination for the vandweller, or any broke-ass, lazy motherfucker. Sound weird? If you’ve ever had Thai food, you’ll know that peanut butter in a savory dish is fucking awesome. Even better spicy!

Here’s how Vanholio does it:

  1. Boil water in two 12 volt water boilers.
  2. Put in your Big Bubba insulated mug:
    1. 2 ramen noodle blocks, broken into pieces to fit
    2. 1 ramen noodle seasoning packet (2 if you like it salty)
    3. Big glob (~3 T) of peanut butter
    4. Optional: add meat, dried veggies, or spices. Vanholio likes dried fried onions; meat-flavored TVP; Tapatío hot sauce; and fresh, shredded cabbage, the kind sold for coleslaw mix. Sometimes he'll mix in a chopped boiled egg or a small can of chicken.
  3. Carefully pour in hot water.
  4. Cover with cap and gently shake to mix ingredients.
  5. Wait 3-5 minutes.
  6. Dig in!
This makes a hearty, 1100+ calorie meal that sticks to your ribs and warms your toes. And the cost of the noodles and peanut butter is only about $0.75!

Now, some asshole out there is going to tell me that instant ramen ain’t good for you. There’s some pseudoscience bullshit making the rounds about how it don’t break down in your gut like fresh ramen, etc., etc. That’s a bunch of conspiracy crap. Of course it don't: The instant kinds are fried! Fat takes longer to digest.

Americans are just paranoid about food, food companies, and The Man.

True, instant ramen is white, enriched flour lightly fried in saturated plant fat (usually palm oil). Too much of that isn’t as good for you as, say brown rice or kale (yuck!). Whole foods are always healthier. Duh!

But you can’t tell me that most restaurant or packaged foods – at 10X the price! – are any better than Vanholio’s magic recipe. This combo is a good balance of protein, carbs, and a mainly plant fats. By using one broth packet instead of two, the salt won’t pickle you. Add some veggies to round it out, or drink a V8. Then eat a goddamned apple for dessert. And stop worrying so fucking much.

Instant ramen noodles and peanut butter is Vanholio’s go-to meal – easy to make, easy to clean up, filling, nutritious, tasty, and completely satisfying. Try it. Fall in love again.

Here's a hot chick cooking a fancier version of ramen and peanut butter with soy sauce and Sriracha hot sauce.

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Last Update: 4/06/2016

Hot Fried Quail ... Those Dirty Birds!

These fried quail at Suwanee River Cafe, Fargo, Ga., were *HAWT*!

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